From the minute that my husband and I found out we were expecting I began fantasizing how I wanted my pregnancy and delivery to play out. Pretty early on we decided that a natural birth plan was the way we wanted to handle the delivery. I felt that a natural birth was the best thing I could do for my baby. Being the planner I am I began researching everything I could about a natural birth. We found a doula that we loved, signed up for Informed Beginnings classes with Rachel and wrote a very detailed birth plan. I had everything planned and figured out. Or so I thought. At 33 weeks my OBGYN thought that the baby was breech. I had heard that it was very common for babies to be breech at that point so I didn't think much of it. My husband and I continued to take the classes to prepare for our natural birth plan. I also started to do what I could to ensure the baby would turn. I went to see a chiropractor, went to pre-natal yoga, did stretches, used moxibustion. You name it and I tired it. I was determined to follow the plan that my husband and I created.
At around 36 weeks I started to get more discouraged that my baby was not turning. We tried an ECV (a procedure where the doctor tries to flip the baby from the outside) at about 37 weeks which was not successful. At about that time I had the gut feeling that my baby wasn't going anywhere. The day of the ECV procedure we had class with Rachel right after. I remember feeling so defeated listening to all of the things that we were learning about in class that I feared I was not going to be able to experience. I felt like a failure. I felt like I was letting my baby down. The plan the I had created for my baby was slipping out of my hands and I could not control it. That day during our class with Rachel I lost it. I was so physically and mentally drained.
Although that day was very hard I also started to accept the fact that I could not control everything in this pregnancy. I had to let go of my plans and create a new plan. I also had to accept that the birth of my baby was meant to be the way it was going to be. I was no less of a strong loving momma because I was not going to deliver my baby naturally.
My water broke on its own about two weeks before my due date. I delivered my baby boy via c-section. Although I did not get all parts of my birth plan the exact way that I wanted it, my delivery was still perfect. The second that they put my sweet baby boy on my chest I knew that everything was just the way it was supposed to be. Being a parent does not always work the exact way you think it might. Everyone goes through different experiences. No one experience is better than the other. No one way is better than the other. This is something that I learned through my pregnancy and delivery and I wouldn't change one thing about it.
January 3, 2016 | 11:00 pm | 20.5 inches | 8 lbs 1 oz